Weekend listening #2: Good reads, and listening in to the fear of your own voice

On BBC Radio 4’s A Good Read on Tuesday, you could have heard the soft tones of Harriett Gilbert, the sharp eye-and-tongue of James Marriott, and me.

Urgh. I’m going through a phase of really hating hearing my voice jabbering on at the moment. This is a problem when I’m listening to lots of podcast edits and interview tapes for various projects, and I’m pitching things for broadcast. I hate wondering where my accent is going to land, as it floats horribly depending on who I’m with.

On the radio, it’s usually fairy unWelshed; in general, it’s a real people-pleaser. The whole process of how I process words in my head and deliver them out of my mouth is unconscious and annoying and it niggles at me whenever I hear myself speaking. What does it say about who I want to be? After all, one of the good things about reaching my mid-forties has been finding that it’s easier now to fight against the need to satisfy everyone. If only my voice would play ball.

At least my thoughts about all this nonsense are relevant to the book I chose for the programme this week (which I picked after wondering what I should recommend - what would be good for my ‘career’, etc - and then thought, Jude, choose what you would recommend, for God’s sake).

This was Border Country by Raymond Williams, a book from 1960 still hugely relevant today about leaving home, escaping it, then returning, and the emotional pull and push of your roots. I’ll tell you more - in my posh radio voice - if you listen in on BBC Sounds. (And spoiler alert: I did listen, on Saturday morning in the car with my husband, and it wasn’t too bad in the end. And I give a shout-out to my quilt-making Thatcher-hating mother-in-law, so that’s worth a cheer.)